I hope we never grow old. Spiritually, at least. I don't see why people expect people to act their age..age is just a number..and really if we all acted old, there'd be no fun in this world.


Im still laughing at Ievan and Ashu's attempt at being all secretive and mysterious (secret-agent Ashu wtf hahaha) and House of fishes( fish & co )HAHAHAH. and acting like they were reading the menu and i came behind them and scared them and they both screamed. LOSAAA. hahahah i don't ever wanna forget today.
Repeated failing attempts at getting to Crowne Hotel's swimming pool, which is gorgeous, it's like a maze. And when we finally reach it , Ievan's too scared of getting soggy underwear to swim when he was the one insisting on getting there in the first place hahaha.




I love you so much seriously, i don't know what i'd be without y'all keeping me insane. ;)


thanks Justine for the adorb cupcake note!!! it's beautiful and you are so so sweet. big hug for you on monday.

& ievan, i love you sorry for being a hormonal bitch to you so many many times hahahah i like justin beaver now thanks to you. your my favourite boy/lezbo/tranny/grape whatever you are i <3 u

this post is for you guys! love you all so much!
i realized i've mostly blogged when i'm emo or angsty and that's no good. who wants to remember all the bad times..like photos, why take a picture of something you'd want to forget? so now i'm only gonna blog about the stuff that makes me happy (:
i love you ievan darwin haikal, thank you for waking me up from my peaceful slumber at exactly 0.00 (haha i checked my phone and it really said 0.00 i was so happy) and wishing me happy birthday and talking crap and making me laugh like an idiot. and singing happy birthday in your "sexy" tranny voice and for justin bieber's Favourite Girl. hahahaha love u-u-u-u-u-u-u.
and i love all you guys (jeannette, jesca, jannah, hyona, carissa, widya) seriously school would SUCK without you guys. i shall stop complaining about how tough mass comm is (it IS tough) but having you guys as awesome classmates/semester mates makes school bearable. (:

and I LOVEEEE the cake really, it tasted like Christmas (: and of course the belt. all the effort you guys put in omgod i could cry love y'all to bits!
and not forgetting Iskandar for your wonderful fifi lapin decorated ferreros, you put in so much effort it's really sweet! <3 you!
and Huimei, for not forgetting me while in Athens and the lovely "cheesy-engraved" bracelet HAHA momonga(?!)

i'm don't expect flowers, chocolates and knocks on my door. i'm not expecting you to kiss away my tears or lavish me with expensive gifts. i don't expect 'good morning' or 'good night' texts. i just wish that you'd be there when i need you like how i'm always there when you need me. and you'd listen to me instead of talking, and occasionally text me. i'm not asking to be your whole world, i'd just like to feel like i'm a part of it. at least a tiny part.
i guess even that..is too much to ask.

"You can never teach a guy to love you the way you want to be loved. You have to wait for him to do it in his own way, in his own time. That’s the saddest part of being a girl. But you can never teach a girl to love the guy back the way she did before if she already grew tired and fed up understanding and waiting to be appreciated and loved the way she deserves to be loved. That’s the saddest part of being an insensitive man."

this is emo rant shit post is for S and V, the two biggest dickheads in my life.

ok first of all.. both of you are attention whores okay? but all this drama mama has got to end. first was that ridiculous tiff and now here we go again. JUST THINK ABOUT IT, after you guys make up y'all won't even really remember what caused the fight in the first place. why? because it doesn't matter! what matters is both of your insecurity about the other one not needing/wanting/trusting or proving to the other some ridiculous shit about how you can survive without the other. WHICH FYI YOU CAN'T.

y'all go on calling the other one names and such and it IS true that V cares more about himself than anybody else and it IS true that S gets crazy but what is the point of doing all this? you are both gonna suffer without the other SO GET OVER IT. both of you know deep down inside that what you're doing is silly and you're just temporarily mad at each other. you all KNOW you miss all the crazy times we have when we hang out OMMMMMMMM so please this is really silly guys get over it.

Fuck growing up. Fuck seeing the world in an even more depressing way. Fuck birthdays and all the effort you’ve put into making other people’s birthdays awesome. Fuck cakes and blowing out candles. Fuck being a year older and not any wiser.

when you said those awful things to me, i felt like crying but i didn’t. even when you asked me to die..i didn’t cry because i knew i deserved it. i treated you like a toy..for reasons i myself don’t understand. so if this is my punishment i deserve it. karma..fair is fair. i only cry when i think about how i might have to spend the next two years and a couple of months without you in it. but then i tell myself that i’m alright and that you’re alright as well. even though your face is gonna keep me up all night for i don’t know how long..but i know in time that it’ll be okay..i just have to make sure i focus on school.  you’ll probably have burned the present i made for you..if you haven’t already..but memories can’t be thrown away that easily. one small thing i ask from you..if you ever happen to look back at all the happy silly times we shared together, try to think the best of it. because i will. i don’t think you’ll ever read this but if you do i want you to know that i love you. that won’t and has never changed.

i killed someone and he came back as a monster ! :'(
i have never hated myself so bad before.

/edit:
on the brighter side i love all my friends <3 qx,hyona,carissa,jananana,shumo,mumu,edmund,hazel and basically everyone. SORRY FOR BEING SO EMO..